Questions
I’ve come to realize that questions can be a friend or an enemy. Some people have the ability to ask a question in a way that promotes good conversation – that recognizes where I am, does not judge where I should be, and communicates hope. Others do not.
I have tried to utilize the art of asking good questions as a person, as a mom, as a friend and as a professional. There is an art to asking questions in the best of times and in the worst of times, but there is more to it. In the best of times, conversation comes easily. In the worst of times, when chaos comes, and families struggle to figure things out, questions either help or hurt.
Some people don’t ask good questions – the nature and intent of their questioning isn’t authentic; it’s judgmental or indifferent. The other person is left feeling injured or interrogated. Realistically there are three parts to the skill of asking questions:
- Think first
- Ask authentically
- Listen to the answer
Let’s start an authentic and effective conversation by asking good questions:
- What are you most afraid of?
- What’s one good decision you made today?
- What secret do you need to deal with?
- Can you tell when someone is lying?
- Has one person ever really changed your life?
- What do you do for fun?
- What could you do better?
- What are you most proud of?
There are unanswerable questions in life. The ones we avoid and that bring us to our knees. Wrestling with these questions can lead us into self-reflective opportunities for growth. The inability to answer questions is not the same as a failure to grapple with them.
Even a tough question asked respectfully, with kindness and compassion can change everything.
Remember, sometimes there is no need to ask a question. Instead:
- Pray
- Be still
- Listen
- Rest
Are ready to ask and answer some interesting questions?
Great Questions for Anyone
- Who has been the most important person in your life? Can you tell me about him or her?
- What was the happiest moment of your life? The saddest?
- Who has been the biggest influence on your life? What lessons did that person teach you?
- Who has been the kindest to you in your life?
- What are the most important lessons you’ve learned in life?
- What are you proudest of?
- When in life have you felt most alone?
- If you could hold on to one memory from your life forever, what would that be?
- How has your life been different than what you’d imagined?
- How would you like to be remembered?
- Do you have any regrets?
- Is there something about me that you’ve always wanted to know but have never asked?
- What do you believe about God?
Blessings to you, as you ask yourself and others authentic and respectful questions.