Author: Danielle Moser

5 Ways to Choose a High Quality Life Coach

Danielle Moser Personal Development , ,
how to choose a life coach

Today, I am sharing an amazing article originally posted at http://paulsohn.org/5-ways-to-pick-a-high-quality-teacher-or-coach/. Enjoy! 

 

The research confirms what we all know either anecdotally or intuitively – that great teachers/mentors/coaches make a real difference in our lives.

The hardest part is finding great teachers, mentors, and coaches to guide you in your personal growth.

Here’s some excellent advice from expert Daniel Coyle on how to find high quality teachers, mentors, and coaches.

1) Avoid Someone Who Reminds You of a Courteous Waiter

This species of teacher/coach/mentor is increasingly abundant in our world: one who focuses his efforts on keeping you comfortable and happy, on making things go smoothly, with a minimum of effort. This is the kind of person who covers a lot of material in a short time, smiles a lot, and says things like, “Don’t worry, no problem, we can take care of that later.” This is a good person to have as your waiter in a restaurant , but a terrible person to have as your teacher, coach, or mentor.

2) Seek Someone Who Scares You a Little

In contrast to encounters with courteous waiters, encounters with great teachers/coaches/mentors tend to be filled with unfamiliar emotion: feelings of respect, admiration, and, often, a shiver of fear. This is a good sign. Look for someone who:

  • Watches you closely: He is interested in figuring you out – what you want, where you’re coming from, what motivates you
  • Is action-oriented: She often won’t want to spend a lot of time chatting – instead, she’ll want to jump into a few activities immediately, so she can get a feel for you and vice versa
  • Is honest, sometimes unnervingly so: He will tell you the truth about your performance in clear language. This stings at first. But you’ll come to see that it’s not personal – it’s the information you can use to get better.

You’re not looking for a buddy or a parent figure. You’re looking for someone solid, someone you trust, someone with whom you take a journey.

3) Seek Someone Who Gives Short, Clear Directions

Most great teachers/ coaches/ mentors do not give long-winded speeches. They do not give sermons or long lectures. Instead, they give short, unmistakably clear directions; they guide you to a target.

4) Seek Someone Who Loves Teaching Fundamentals

Great teachers will often spend entire practice sessions on one seemingly small fundamental; for example, the way you grip a golf club, or the way you pluck a single note on a guitar. This might seem strange, but it reflects their understanding of a vital reality: These fundamentals are the core of your skills. The more advanced you are, the more crucial they become.

5) Other Things Being Equal, Pick the Older Person

Teaching is like any other talent: It takes time to grow. This is why so many hotbeds are led by people in their sixties and seventies. Great teachers are first and foremost learners, who improve their skills with each passing year. That’s not to say there aren’t any good teachers under thirty – there are. Nor is it to say that every coach with gray hair is a genius – they’re not. But other things being equal, go with someone older.

 

Ten Lessons to be Learned from Effective Leaders

Danielle Moser Leadership , ,
you are a leader

Of all the responsibilities that a leader may have, mentoring those around them is perhaps the most important. After all good leaders not only have a love of learning themselves but should also strive to inspire others to have that same love of learning and self development.

Following are ten essential lessons every leader should be teaching.

How to give praise

Just as students tend to respond better to praise the same holds true with your team members. When the people in your organization receive praise and encouragement from you they come away with the sense that you have their backs. Give those around you praise and give it generously.

How to listen

Listening is one of the most important skills that you will develop as a leader and really as a person. Many leaders like to talk but you are guaranteed to be a much more effective leader when you learn to listen and really hear what others have to say. This will help to make more informed decisions in the future.

How to say no

Leaders (and parents) are probably the best when it comes to saying “no”. Listening may be one of the most important things to learn; saying no will be one of the hardest. as a leader, you may receive many recommendations, suggestions, invitations etc. and you won’t always have the ability to say “yes” for whatever reason. It is important to teach your team that how you say no is important.

How to work hard

Your team members will learn more from your example than by your words. Teams whose leader don’t work alongside them typically suffer from communication issues and a lack of respect for their leader. A great leader won’t ask their team to do something they would not do.

How to let things go

As a leader you will face many challenges and have many frustrations. Just as in everyday life, people will get on your nerves and annoy you. You’ll have pressures, deadlines, and disappointments, and obligations. Teach your team how to let things go and not get so stressed out over every little obstacle that comes along. Teach them to create a plan but to always expect deviations from that plan.

How to confront

Most people don’t like confrontation. We’d much rather give praise because confrontation can be anxiety provoking. But there are those times as a leader when you must confront others for whatever reason. How you confront them should be a teachable moment that shows how to be firm, how to be fair, and that you have accountability measures in place that you are not afraid to enforce.

How to say thank you

This one simple act can make a world of difference. If you want to see the atmosphere in your office or even your home improve, then take the time to thank those around you for all of their hard work. Gratitude and appreciation can go a long way.

How to forgive

Hang around in leadership long enough and you will understand the power of forgiveness. Life is simply too short to hold grudges and hold on to the hatred. Do it for yourself if not for anyone else.

How to set priorities

Setting priorities is extremely important to being productive. People in your organization need to see that you have a set of priorities that you live by. You teach priorities by your routines and time management. What’s important to you is given priority.

How to delegate

Delegation is the key to your success and that involves everyone in the process. Delegation is not just assigning the work you don’t want to do. It’s about matching the right people with the right skills to maximize productivity and results. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is your business.

What do you think? Are there other essential lessons that leaders should be teaching.

Amazing Life Lessons: “Finish Well”

Danielle Moser Personal Development
"finish well"

You can ask any triathlete and they will tell you that training takes tons of preparation and hard work. They have to train their bodies by working them out on a daily basis so that they can stay physically fit. Eating healthy is also a must if they plan on reaching peak physical agility and fitness. And they even have to stay mentally fit as well. They can’t allow their opponents to psych them out.

They do all of this so that they can be well prepared to do their best race day. Even though they do not know the outcome, they still get out there knowing that they have put in all the preparation that they need to be a contender, and they give it all they have.

The future can be a pretty scary thing for athletes, and it can be equally terrifying for us. We don’t like the unknown or uncertainties.

We know what has happened in the past because it already happened. We know what’s going on in the present because we’re living it.  The future will now and forever more be a mystery – which is unsettling.

Even though triathletes are uncertain of their futures, in the same way that we are of ours, one of the things they say when they get into the race is that they have learned from past mistakes. They know to watch out for. And they have trained.

They realize that they cannot expect to win if they do the exact same thing that they did in the past, so they change it up and adjust their techniques and tactics based on the lessons that they learned. And even though the outcome of the next race is uncertain, they can go into  it with more confidence. The goal is to “finish well”.

Good things have happened to us in the past and so have bad things and we often think about these things. When we think about the good things we smile as we look on at these memories with fondness, but when the bad memories enter into our consciousness we often times become scared of them. We hold on to these bad memories, but most of the time we don’t use them to benefit us in some way like we do with our good memories. So, instead of holding on to the bad things from the past, you should let go of these bad memories. Let go of the memories, but carry any and all lessons that you have learned from your painful past into the future with you.

The future may end up seeming a little less scary when you show up each day with an arsenal of life lessons that can help you to combat any potential threats that you might face. Remember you don’t ever want to show up to a race unprepared. Even the smallest bit of preparation can give you an edge over whomever or whatever you’re facing, and when you come to your race with your lessons in hand you will end up having just a little bit more of advantage to help you “finish well”.

 

Measuring Success in Leadership

Danielle Moser Leadership , ,
measuring success in leadership

If you feel your job matters, then you feel that you matter.

As a leader, it is important to affirm and support every person with whom you come into contact.

It’s interesting that we have become a data driven society – one that wants facts and figures to back up every decision.

It’s also interesting that sometimes we end up measuring the wrong thing, in an effort to prove a point.

Our school system over tests students and over analyzes testing scores. No one really understands what this measures – the student learning? The teacher’s ability to teach? How about the administrator’s ability to inspire?

I sit back and wonder about the judgement and leadership of the system. I believe it is an example of measuring the wrong thing.

It happens frequently if we aren’t vigilant – people feel anonymous, unimportant and unfulfilled. No measurement changes that until leadership changes.

All people want to be appreciated. They want to know that they matter.

People want to see a connection between what they are doing and the future.

They want to know that their contribution matters to people who care.

People need to measure their own success. Standards need to be clear – measurable – achievable.

  • Laugh with people.
  • Know their cares.
  • Ask about their families.
  • Make every moment count.

People join organizations – they stay because leadership is inspiring and life giving.

Be certain that what you measure is what matters!