Measuring Success in Leadership

Danielle Moser Leadership , ,
Measuring Success in Leadership

If you feel your job matters, then you feel that you matter.

As a leader, it is important to affirm and support every person with whom you come into contact.

It’s interesting that we have become a data driven society – one that wants facts and figures to back up every decision.

It’s also interesting that sometimes we end up measuring the wrong thing, in an effort to prove a point.

Our school system over tests students and over analyzes testing scores. No one really understands what this measures – the student learning? The teacher’s ability to teach? How about the administrator’s ability to inspire?

I sit back and wonder about the judgement and leadership of the system. I believe it is an example of measuring the wrong thing.

It happens frequently if we aren’t vigilant – people feel anonymous, unimportant and unfulfilled. No measurement changes that until leadership changes.

All people want to be appreciated. They want to know that they matter.

People want to see a connection between what they are doing and the future.

They want to know that their contribution matters to people who care.

People need to measure their own success. Standards need to be clear – measurable – achievable.

  • Laugh with people.
  • Know their cares.
  • Ask about their families.
  • Make every moment count.

People join organizations – they stay because leadership is inspiring and life giving.

Be certain that what you measure is what matters!

 

 

 

 

Show Up: Living with Purpose

Cheryl Held Personal Development , , ,
Show Up: Living with Purpose

I have a serious question…

How satisfied are you with how your life is going?

If your answer to this question is that I’m pretty satisfied with how my life is going, or some variation of that, then good for you! Keep on doing what you’re doing.

For those of you who aren’t too satisfied with how your life is going, this next part is for you.

People can live a hundred years and end up not truly living a single day of those hundred years feeling satisfied. If you’re wondering how this can be true, then ponder this…

What’s the point in living a hundred years if you’re not going to make sure that you make those years count? If you aren’t going to make a difference in the lives of others? Are you kind? Respectful? Are you driven? Humble? Devoted? Do you show up for what matters and do you say no to the things that don’t?

If you’re not living a life that you enjoy, then are you truly living? Your life should be full of meaningful moments.  Sometimes the first step to finding satisfaction, is to choose positivity over negativity. To choose joy.

You can do this by becoming more aware of how you’re feeling and when you’re feeling it. Pay attention to your emotions as they happen and choose your responses wisely.

Unexpected and unwanted things will enter into your life. We are all going to deal with difficult moments. We don’t have to let these moments stop us from living our life with joy.

Part of living with joy and intention is living in a way that gives you a purpose and fulfillment, not emptiness. If you’re not feeling fulfilled then it’s your job to go out into the world and find that something that makes you excited to live. And don’t live somebody else’s version of your life. Live your version.

When Yasutaro Koide, the oldest man in the world, died this past January at 112 years old, an interview with him was published. He was quoted as saying that his secret to living a long life was due to the fact that he tried to not overdo things and that he tried to live with joy. He was intentional about his own joy and satisfaction. In his life, he showed up and lived it well.

So choose positivity, live intentionally, find your purpose, and simply show up.

– Cheryl

 

 

 

On ‘being’ Present

Cheryl Held Personal Development

As a leadership coach and counselor, I work with people who want to improve the way they interact with others – at their job, in their families and socially.

When clients participate in a 360 assessment, a comprehensive insight report or a leadership self-assessment, one of the lowest reported behaviors is  “Gives others his/her full presence and attention during meetings and conversations.” If you take time to observe your personal behavior and that of others you work or live with, you’ll understand why the behavior of being fully present is often rated so low.

The increasing levels of dependence on smartphones and other electronics are well documented. If you’re paying attention to, or distracted by what’s on a screen, you’re not fully present for the people you’re actually talking with. Earlier this year, I worked with an executive who decided to focus on being more present for her staff. She made some choices that made a difference in her being present for her staff. Some of her choices included:

  1. Putting the smartphone away during meetings, out of reach.
  2. Turning off the computer screen during meetings. Fully focus on the person with no distractions.
  3. Conducting meetings away from her desk so she wouldn’t be distracted by anything on it.
  4. Asking people who stuck their head in her office for a quick question while she was talking to someone else, to come back later.
  5. Negotiating a call back time with her partners rather than stopping what she was doing for an important call or question.

When I asked her to reflect on the impact of making those changes, she said what surprised her most was that she felt not only like a better boss but also like a better person.  She said that after a few weeks of being very present, she realized that her distractibility had been a lack of respect for the people she was working with and cared for.

The ongoing benefit and growth for my client have continued. By being more present at work, she’s found that she’s more patient outside of work as well. Her daughter has been home from college this summer and she’s strengthened her relationship with her by giving her more of her undivided attention. She said, “I am so much more aware of what’s going on around me. I have become a much better listener and observer of others.”

That’s a lot of positive leverage out of something as simple as deciding to be more present in your life.

This week, work on being present.

For example:

– Enjoy your work. Don’t be too busy thinking about deadlines or bottom lines, to give yourself a chance to enjoy it. Do your best work – for the right reasons.

– Don’t be so distracted by thoughts of Monday morning that you spoil the weekend.

– Do not let the opinions of others, formed through actions you took in the past, stop you from being who you are in the present.

Wherever you are, commit to being there, completely. Life will take care of the rest.

Pick a meeting or two where you’re going to put the smartphone away, turn off your computer and silence the ringer on your desk phone. Family dinner or movie night? Electronics away! Notice what happens relationally. Then do it again.

You just might be pleasantly surprised at the benefits of being fully present in your own life.

If you have an interest in doing a leadership assessment, contact me at cheryl@heldtogether.net  It would be my pleasure to work with you.

A Community In Pain

Cheryl Held Change

painBy its very nature, death makes you question things.

You question what you believe, what you thought to be true, and you question your assumptions about the way you, and others, are living life.

Death changes everything – some things temporarily, others forever.

Our community is in pain.

A community of students, staff, parents, relatives and friends will gather to memorialize Seth Budai, guidance counselor at Winters Mill High School, on Saturday. Seth waged a determined and dignified battle against cancer. He lived his life dedicated to the students of the high school. His testimony was one of sheer determination to never give up the fight.

On Sunday, the community will gather to memorialize JeannieBird, the beloved bakery shop owner, tragically killed in an accident this week. JeannieBird dedicated herself to sweetening life for every person who walked on Main Street Westminster. Her bakery is a gathering place of pure joy.

The North Carroll High School community is in pain over the fatal accident involving one of their teachers. When chaos comes, and families struggle to figure their way through the maze of pain and grief, there are words that help and ones that do not. May we be a community offering words of comfort.

Let me say it again – our community is in pain.

Chaos and disorganization are real. Things get messy. People ask you to explain what is going on, but you can’t explain. It isn’t possible to put into words what you don’t understand yourself.

  • the way you see the world is distorted
  • the way you breathe feels different somehow
  • the way you feel about life makes you question everything
  • the words and thoughts in your head seem like a foreign language
  • the beat of your heart is a distraction when it’s quiet

It is then that you have crossed over the invisible line; the line from which there is no going back. It is the line that divides before and after. How many times I unknowingly looked at the invisible line and uttered, sometimes out loud, ‘this is crazy’ or ‘I seriously can’t believe this’ or ‘can someone please tell me this is a nightmare – I think I am going crazy’ …

Our own losses affect how we interpret other people’s stories, and intersect with their pain. Everyone has a story; mine is one of pain, and I don’t always want to tell it, but there are threads of connectivity between those of us with stories of grief – deep loss and pain have common language.

There are precious and honorable existential moments in the sacred spaces of grief. Those moments are never to be taken lightly. They are moments when we find ourselves in the presence of the divine.

Life is heavier, slower, more deliberate now. Time is moving on, and life is continuing, but the absences are real and they are painful.

I pray that our words will be compassionate, honorable and consoling to the broken hearted.

May the God of love and grace comfort the families and may He comfort our community at large.

 

Ms. Cheryl Held

Heldtogether.net

 

Ignorance is Bliss

Cheryl Held Culture ,

The other day, I saw a bumper sticker that made me sit up and take notice.  It said, “Ignorance is NOT bliss!”  At first, I loved it.  I am a the-truth-will-set-you-free kind of girl.  But I stopped to think about it for a while more.  Is ignorance really bliss?  Or not?  Never?  Or sometimes?

So I did a little digging about the origin of the phrase and found the original poem written in the 1700’s by Sir Thomas Gray. Gray nostalgically reminisces about the bliss of youth with its carefree days unaffected by the realities of adult life.  The poem reveals Gray’s double perspective that not only is ignorance bliss but knowledge is misery.

Ignorance has its place in life during childhood.  Parents are obliged to protect their children from knowledge which is too much for them to bear, too confusing for their minds to process.  For a time, children can operate successfully under the “need-to-know basis” of adult protection.  But ignorance, or lack of awareness, only works if there is a mindful adult to do the protecting.  Otherwise, the news media will educate on behalf of un-invested adults.

As we grow and become independent, we are obligated to develop an adult mind of our own. Events occur that require our attention. Either the events in our families and our communities will define us, or our response to the events will. We always have a choice.

Grown-up knowledge brings an awareness of the world.  Whatever idealizations we had are altered by real life.  This is a necessary part of growing up.

In this life we will see much suffering. We will also see many joys. If we are not mindful and intent, suffering and pain can become the focus. One need only watch the news.

Sometimes, I long to return to the days before I understood what membership in adulthood would require of me. Those peaceful moments of play and unawareness of suffering.

Instead, I have an obligation to respond to my insights and awareness as an adult

  • Either an event will define you, or your response to the event will. You choose.
  • Love is more powerful than pain.
  • People in pain often speak quietly because the world is not prepared for their brand of heavy.
  • Death does not end a relationship – it forever changes it.
  • Everyone has a story worth telling and worth hearing. Once you know a person’s story you are forever connected to their joy and their pain.

At this time of the year, many have heavy hearts and are confused about how to navigate the:

  • Death of a loved one
  • End of a relationship
  • Diagnosis or reoccurrence of an illness
  • Job loss
  • Move across the country
  • Separation or divorce
  • Family turmoil and strained relationships

The list goes on … and there are often children involved.

 It’s okay

It’s okay to cry

It’s okay to laugh

It’s okay to be angry

It’s okay to ask for help

It is okay to be quiet for a time

It’s okay to change traditions – or not

It’s necessary to make space for your pain

Hope will return

It’s okay

 

Once we learn something, we cannot unlearn it. We are no longer unaware of pain in the world around us. Awareness requires action. Action generates hope … and hope is a wonderful word for any time of the year.

If you, or someone you know, can use encouragement, coaching or counseling during this season, please share this blog and my contact information. It would be my privilege to be a partner through pain – to hope.

 

Ms. Cheryl Held
Held Together Counseling and Coaching
HeldTogether.net
cheryl@heldtogether.net
410-259-5050